


We're Just Making It Worse

by jusains



Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/F, Fake Dating, Jealousy, M/M, Slow Dancing, They're exes, Wedding, alcohol tw, bill is a designated driver, but not each other unfortunately, but not theirs, he's very in love and very sad in this one, open but probably happy ending, ted is not, ted is pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27956528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jusains/pseuds/jusains
Summary: Ted goes to Pauls and Emmas wedding despite not having been invited. Bill is there with someone else.
Relationships: Sylvia/Charlotte, Ted Spankoffski/Bill Woodward
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	We're Just Making It Worse

**Author's Note:**

> this is vaquely based on a song called "We're Just Making It Worse" (by Cameron Avery and Alexandra Savior) and we love to hear it so here i am, recommending it to you

Going to a wedding that you’re not invited to just because you know your ex will be there is a bad idea and Ted knows that in theory.

It didn’t stop him though because following bad ideas is kind of his thing.

What is Teds life if not a huge pile of bad decisions?

Nothing, maybe.

He's a little drunk, so that helped too.  
He always tries to tell himself that he’s not an alcoholic because there are people who drink a lot more than him (probably?) but he barely remembers the last time he was actually completely sober.

Not since he broke up with Bill, that’s for sure.

He wasn’t even sober for the break-up, so honestly he can’t even be mad at Bill for not talking to him anymore.

It’s all on Ted, deep down he very much knows that.

But being mad at Bill is easier than having to face that he made a mistake and should work on himself in order to gain a happier life, so he’ll just be mad at Bill.

Bill didn’t have to be so nice and make Ted fall in love with him anyway.

Bill didn’t have to say “Yes” when Ted asked him out and Bill didn’t have to be so loveable overall.

It’s all on Bill, if you think about it like that.  
  


All of their mutual friends took Bills side, of course.

Ted only nodded when Paul awkwardly cornered him in the break room and told him that he and Emma made the decision to take back their wedding invitation.

Ted wasn't even sad, he didn't want to go there anymore anyway, considering he was supposed to go there with Bill. He doesn't like weddings, it was only the promise of free food and free wine and on top of that Bills presence that made Ted look forward to it.

Ted wasn't sad because he learned to numb his feelings so much that he can barely un-numb them anymore now.  
He’s just drifting through the world, his feelings lost in his past and honestly, he’s way too exhausted to care about things anymore.

There’s no point in caring, all he ever gets out of it is disappointment.

He told Bill that, when he broke up.

He thinks he did.

He doesn’t remember everything in great detail anymore but he believes he said something along those lines.

He must have.

The thing is Ted lied. He lied and he actually cares about Bill. Bill is the only person Ted found himself caring about in a while. 

Maybe that's why he goes to the wedding anyway. 

* * *

Ted is not drunk enough when he arrives at the wedding.

He just sits in the parking lot for a while and stares at the cheesy venue, thinking about whether or not to go in.

He knows that not going in would certainly be the right thing to do.

If Ted knew what’s good for him, he would get out of the car and take a cab home and get rid of all his booze and go see a therapist, maybe.

Ted does, in fact, not know what’s good for him.

He sees Bill pull over in the parking lot, quite a few rows away from Ted.

Bill and his stupid yellow amc pacer.

Ted leans back into his seat and watches Bill, as he gets out of his car.

Bill walks around the car and opens the door to the passengers side and for a moment Ted thinks he must be getting his wedding gift or a jacket or something, when someone else gets out of the car.

A woman.

Bill brought someone else to the wedding.

A date?

Bill brought a date that isn’t Ted.

Ted feels his heart sink a little deeper into the empty void in his chest and bites down on his lip until it starts to hurt.

He knows her.

It’s Sylvia from work.

Bill and her always got along well.

Bill didn’t waste any time, did he?

Ted feels like crying suddenly.

He broke up with Bill two weeks ago and there Bill is, bringing a date that isn’t Ted to a _wedding_ , his hand resting on Sylvias lower back like nothing is wrong with that.

Ted almost can’t believe Bill would do that to him.

Bill is too nice for this.

He wouldn’t bring a new partner somewhere where Ted could see them together, not so soon.

He wouldn’t purposely make it worse like that.

Ted watches them walk into the venue and disappear, not really sure what he’s supposed to feel or think.

Bill didn’t even do anything wrong, did he?

Ted is not supposed to be at the wedding so Bill bringing Sylvia isn’t even him rubbing it in Teds face.

Ted takes a shaky breath and tries to calm down a little, before he grabs the bottle of whiskey from the passengers seat and takes a big swig.

He’s just about to consider actually leaving when he sees a blue fiat cinquecento pull into the parking lot and gets a stupid idea.

There’s no hesitation, there never is when Ted makes bad decisions, he just makes them.

He places the bottle of whiskey back on his seat and gets out of his car.

“Oh, hi Ted”, Charlotte says, making her way to the trunk of her car as he hurries towards her.

She doesn’t really seem surprised to see him, maybe she knows him well enough by now to know that he’s an idiot.

“Charlotte, I need you to pretend to be here with me.”

She frowns and smiles, visibly confused now.

“As a date?”, she asks.

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because-..”

Ted hesitates and tries to think of a better reason than the one he has.

“Not because of Bill, is it?”, she asks.

“He’s here with Sylvia!”, Ted says.

Charlotte stops for a moment, looking surprised and almost a little sad.

“Are you sure?”, she then asks.

Ted nods. “They came here together and..”

He swallows.

Charlotte may be the closest person he has to a friend but he doesn’t want to cry in front of her. He doesn’t want to cry in front of anyone.

“Oh”, Charlotte mumbles.

“Right? It has only been two weeks!” 

She nods lightly.

Then she picks up the bag in her trunk and carefully closes it.

“Please Charlotte, I just-.. I _need_ him to see that I’m over him as well.”

“You know, it’s this kind of dishonesty that broke you two apart, I think”, Charlotte notes.

“I know this isn’t healthy, alright? Will you do it?”

She sighs. “Alright Ted, but we won’t kiss or anything.”

“Shit, thank you”, he mutters, relieved and surprised because he honestly didn’t expect her to say yes.

“Just because.. I owe you one for helping me through my divorce”, she says.

Ted nods, even though he really didn’t do much. All he did was listen to her rant about Sam and the countless women he cheated on Charlotte with at work. Ted mostly did it because it was more interesting than working and it let him pretend he’s a good person while all he did was procrastinating.

He holds his arm out towards her and she takes a breath before she nods lightly and slips her hand on it.

Ted leads her inside the venue, more nervous than he should be for the fact that he’s absolutely over Bill and hasn’t felt a single feeling since college.

He spots Bill and Sylvia immediately when Charlotte and him step through the double door.

He can feel Bill look at him and feels something like victory.

Look at Ted coming to a significant event with a pretty woman. He’s _so_ over Bill.

“Oh”, someone says and Ted turns to Paul, the person the voice belonged to. “Hello Ted."

“Paul! Beautiful wedding!”, Ted says.

Paul just smiles in a mix of hesitation and defeat, his eyes skipping towards Bill.

Ted turns to Bill too, to see him wave Paul off, shaking his head.

“Asking my ex for permission, huh?”, Ted asks, “I’m Charlottes plus one, is that not allowed?”

Paul sighs.

“Just don’t make a scene, yeah?”, he says.

Ted nods. “I’d never.”

“Okay. ..okay. Okay. Good.”

Paul hesitates, then he points in some direction and just leaves.

When Ted looks at Charlotte, he sees her stare in Bills and Sylvias direction.

“The nerve, right?”, Ted mutters, keeping his voice low.

“Mh”, she just makes, “How drunk are you?”

“Not drunk at all.”

“Come on, let’s find a place to sit.”

Ted nods and leads her past Bill and Sylvia towards the seats.

* * *

The ceremony is nice.

At least as nice as something that cheesy can be.

Ted never really liked Emma but if Paul is happy with her then good for him.

It’s only later at the reception that Ted looses track of Bill.

Charlotte asked him something and he forgot to listen and then he felt bad and decided to focus on her more and suddenly Bill was gone.

It’s fine, Ted tries to tell himself, he’s not there to stalk Bill. He’s there to have fun and get drunk and flirt with people who aren’t Bill.

He’s failing at most of those tasks, except for the getting drunk part. He’s on his third glass of wine and he knows that it won’t be his last. It’s only a matter of time until he switches to something stronger.

“Do you think it’s serious?”, Charlotte asks and when Ted looks up, he finds Bill again, sitting a few tables away and Ted realises that Charlotte is talking about him and Sylvia.

“Everything is serious with Bill”, Ted mutters bitterly.

“Oh.”

“He’s so.. he’s no fun”, Ted says, knowing very well that that’s not true.

“Oh get over yourself”, Charlotte says.

“What?”

“Stop moping around.”

“I’m not. I just think bringing someone new as a date to a wedding after only two weeks is cruel and-.. It’s just cruel.”

“You did the same thing, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but this is not real. No offense.”

“No, you’re right.”

“He’s just.. here with her.”

“I think if you have a problem with that, you should talk to him about it.”

“I won’t.”

“And that’s your problem.”

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t know how to express your feelings. Whenever you care about someone you purposely push them away because opening up makes you uncomfortable.”

Teds jaw drops. “What?”

“You need help.”

“I don’t.”

“Therapy really helps, you know.”

“I don’t need therapy, I need Bill back.”

Charlotte raises an eyebrow.

“I’m fine”, Ted keeps insisting.

“Alright. Well, I’ll go talk to Sylvia.”

“What? But she-“ Ted looks at Bills table to find Sylvia sitting alone.

In the same moment someone taps Teds shoulder.

Ted looks up and there Bill is, towering above him in all his beauty.

He’s always gorgeous but him in a suit genuinely makes Ted forget to breath for a moment.

“Hi”, Ted mutters.

“Hey”, Bill says.

“I’ll leave you two alone”, Charlotte says.

Ted only nods.

She gets up and leaves and Bill hesitantly takes her seat.

“What are you doing here?”, he asks softly, in his caring Bill way.

“Celebrating Pauls and Emmas love, what else would I be doing here?”

“With Charlotte?”

“Are you jealous? You should really move on, you know?”, Ted says, even though he very much is the one being jealous.

“I’m not jealous.”

“Sure.”

“I’m worried about you.”

“I’m obviously fine.”

“You’re not fine.”

Ted scoffs and chugs down his wine before he reaches for the bottle to pour more after.

Bill quickly reaches for the bottle as well, his fingers brushing Teds hand.

Ted is so overwhelmed by that, that he just lets go of the bottle.

Bill puts it out of his reach.

“I think you’ve had enough of that”, he says.

“Jesus Christ Bill”, Ted mumbles, “I’m not a child.”

“Well, you behave like one.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“Ted-“

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to go find my date.”

Ted gets up but stops in the tracks when he spots Charlotte sitting next to Sylvia.

They’re both laughing and Charlotte put her hand over Sylvias. It looks very intimate.

And suddenly Ted understands why Charlotte agreed to fake-date him.

“Looks like your date is busy”, Bill says, having gotten up too.

“So is yours”, Ted mumbles.

Bill nods and Ted makes the decision to turn away and leave.

He tries not to go too fast because running away from your ex just looks pathetic.

He takes a breath once he finally made it outside and leans against the cold concrete wall of the building.

He reaches into his pocket and fishes out a pack of cigarettes. He fumbles one out of the package and sticks it between his teeth while he puts the package back and goes for his lighter.

“I thought you stopped smoking”, Bill says.

Ted flinches a little upon him just being there and tries to play it off with a shrug.

“I lied.”

He lights his cigarette and Bill awkwardly shoves his hands into his pockets.

“Was that all you ever did?”, he asks, “Lie to me?”

He sounds hurt and disappointed and Ted can’t blame him.

“I’m not good at being honest”, Ted admits as he takes the first drag from his cigarette.

“Clearly”, Bill says.

“What are you doing here? With her?”

“I’m just trying to begin again.”

“So it’s a thing? It’s real?”

“I don’t know.”

Ted raises an eyebrow. “That was fast.”

He takes another drag, hoping for the smoke to fill is brain and push out his thoughts. He really doesn’t want to deal with his thoughts right now.

“How are you doing?”, Bill asks.

“Why do you care?”, Ted replies because it’s an easier answer than admitting the truth.

“Of course I care.”

“Well, stop.”

“No.”

“What is wrong with you?”

Bill shrugs.

“Come on, Ted.”

“What?”

“I know you still care too.”

“I don’t.”

“Then why did you bring Charlotte as your date?”

“Because I like Charlotte”, Ted lies.

“No you don’t, not like that. You just did it to make things worse, this is what you do.”

Ted hesitates.

He takes a drag from his cigarette and slowly lets the smoke glide out of his mouth in an attempt to buy time and also hide that Bill kind of hurt him by saying that.

“It’s not my fault that you didn’t waste any time to find someone new”, he says eventually, “You didn’t even give me time to start again.”

“You’re the one who broke up, remember?”

“You’re were happy about it though, weren’t you?”

“What?”

“You’re too nice to break up so I did it for you. You’re welcome.”

Bill just shakes his head. “I can’t believe you.”

“It’s true.”

“You know what? You were right, there’s no future for us.”

Ted nods. “I know.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

Ted shrugs. “I suppose making things worse is what I do”, he says.

“I mean it, Ted.”

“Me too.”

Bill sighs.

“I’ll go back inside.”

“Go dance with Sylvia”, Ted mutters bitterly.

“What is your problem, huh?”

“You are! Obviously.”

“Don’t you dare pretend you care about me”, Bill says, “You don’t give a damn about anyone and it’s honestly just sad how you gave up on trying.”

Ted scoffs quietly to hide his feelings.

“I can’t believe I followed you out here, that was such a waste of time”, Bill keeps going.

“My apologies”, Ted mutters.

“You know what? I _am_ glad you broke up. Thank you for opening my eyes.”

Ted just nods lightly as Bill already turns away again and goes back inside.

And there Ted is, left alone with his feelings and his own words that came back at him like a boomerang, thanks to Bill.

Ted drops his cigarette on the ground and puts it out with the tip of his shoe before he follows Bill inside, feeling numb.

He’s not even sad, he never really is.

He just floats through the room towards the bar and orders the strongest thing he can find on the menu.

Then he sits there and stares at the glass in his hand that he emptied way too fast.

He almost doesn’t notice the tears when they come.

They just slip out of his eyes and roll over his cheeks and suddenly he’s crying and he doesn’t even care.

The worst thing about all of this is that Bill was right. Bill was right and Ted deserved to hear everything Bill said to him.

“Ted?”, a soft voice asks.

He doesn’t have to look up to know it’s Charlotte.

“Are you alright?”

He just nods and looks out for the barkeeper to order another glass or maybe just the whole bottle.

“I’m leaving”, Charlotte says, “With Sylvia.”

“What?”, Ted mutters.

“Bill was okay with it and I’m.. we..”

Ted looks up for a moment to see that she blushed.

“Okay”, he says, too exhausted to be happy for her, “Have fun.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”, she asks again.

Ted nods again.

“Yeah, goodbye.”

“Bye, Ted.”

She puts her hand on his arm for a moment and squeezes gently before she leaves.

Ted isn’t alone for long after that.

Just a few minutes later someone else sits down on the stool next to him.

“Why are you mad at me?”, Bill asks. “You broke up.”

“Just leave”, Ted mutters, “Stop wasting your time.”

“I’m sorry I said that.”

“Jesus Bill, stand for your words. You can’t apologise every time you said something mean. If I did that, I’d never get out of apologising.”

“Well I’m not you. And I apologise. What I said was mean and unreasonable and I only said it because I lost control over my emotions.”

“It’s fine”, Ted says and reaches for his face to wipe the tears away.

“Wait, are you crying?”, Bill asks.

“No”, Ted lies.

“Oh god, I made you cry.”

“You didn’t, there’s something in my eye.”

“I’m so sorry. I went too far.”

“Calm down, you didn’t make me cry.”

“Prove it and look at me.”

Ted carefully tries to fully wipe the tears away without Bill noticing before he looks up.

“You’re crying”, Bill notices.

“No”, Ted says, still holding on to his pathetic lie.

“Why?”, Bill asks.

“Because-..” Ted shrugs.

“What?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Yeah”, Ted admits.

“Why?”

“Because it’s easier to be mad at you than to be mad at me. I already can’t stand me enough.”

Bill hesitates, clearly taken aback by Teds honesty.

It surprised Ted too, he didn’t think he had it in himself.

“You know, you didn’t even-..”, Ted starts, then stops because he knows he’s being embarrassingly selfish.

“I didn’t even what?”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to apologise and get you back”, Ted mutters,

Bill laughs. Not a happy laugh, it’s more like a sarcastic and sad laugh. Like he can’t believe Ted would be so naive and stupid.

“I didn’t know you were planning on doing that.”

“I wasn’t. I don’t know.”

“Ted..”

“You really were relieved when I broke up, weren’t you?”, Ted keeps going, the alcohol having gotten to his head so there’s no clear thought left. His voice broke a little and he can feel his eyes burn like more tears are going to push out soon and he really really doesn’t want that to happen. He doesn’t want to cry anymore, not in front of Bill.

Bill doesn’t answer, he just tilts his head and watches Ted in a mixture of empathy and sadness.

Ted wants him back so bad, it hurts.

He hasn’t felt like this in years, he didn’t want to be with someone like this in forever.

Bill feels so important to him.

It feels like nothing matters but him.

Just Bill.

Bill, Bill, Bill.

“You really hurt me”, Bill just says.

“I know. You deserve better”, Ted admits.

“That’s my decision though, isn’t it? I wanted to be with you.”

Ted smiles unhappily.

“Wanted?”

“I just.. I don’t know if I can trust you. I don’t know if I want to. I want safety and-.. I don’t want to take you back just for you to change your mind again after a few days and then you’ll drunkenly rant to me about how ridiculously stupid I am for being with you.”

“Maybe I would do that.”

“Why are you like this?”

“I wish I knew.”

It’s quiet for a while.

“Do you want to dance?”, Bill then asks.

“Why would you do that?”

“Just say yes before I change my mind.”

“Okay.”

Ted slips off his stool and lets Bill lead him to the dancefloor and pull him close.

Ted leans his head against Bills head and lets his nose drop on Bills shoulder. He closes his eyes and lets the familiar smell wash over him.

Bills breath is in his neck and his arms are wrapped around Teds waist. He's just holding him, it feels so good. 

Ted missed that.

He misses it all and he wants it all back but he can’t say that, can he?

“Would she make you happy?”, he asks, instead of saying everything else that’s floating around in his head.

Bill shrugs lightly.

“We’re not going to date.”

“Why were you here together?”

“We’re friends.”

“Oh.”

“We just tried, that’s all. But we’re not made to be more than friends, we realised that much.”

Ted scoffs quietly.

“Like I’m better?”

“You’re the one I’m in love with”, Bill says, honest as always.

Ted pulls away a little, just enough to be able to look at Bill.

“Are you still?”

“Unfortunately yes.”

Ted doesn’t know what to say to that so he just pulls Bill closer.

No one can hold him like Bill can, he thinks and part of him hopes that that also goes the other way around.

“I miss you”, Ted whispers.

“Ted-“

“I’m all yours. You know that.”

“Are you?”

“If you take me back, I’ll try my best to be better, I swear. I’ll-“

“I just don’t think that would be healthy. For either of us.”

“Is it because of how I acted tonight? I swear I can be better, I’m only human, I can’t-..”

Ted stops when he sees the look on Bills face.

“I could have played it better”, he then quietly adds.

“This is not a game, you’re not okay and you need help.”

“I’m fine!”

“I can’t be that for you, I can’t help you.”

“I don’t need help.”

“You can’t even admit it to yourself. I can’t-.. I miss you too but I can’t continue if you’re not going to work on yourself. For yourself.”

“I don’t care about me.”

“But I do and it hurts to see you like that and I really don’t want you to take it out on me again.”

“I’d never hurt you.”

“Not physically but.. you know what I mean. I don’t know if you noticed but it hurts me when you break up out of nowhere.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll be better.”

“Will you?”

“Just take me back and I’ll show you, I can be more than I was I can-“

“No.”

“What?”

Bill just shakes his head.

“No”, he says again, softer.

“Oh”, Ted mumbles.

Then he looks away and avoids Bills gaze to hide how glassy his eyes just got.

“I’ll drive you home, okay?”, Bill asks.

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, I insist. You’re too drunk to drive alone.”

“I can walk or something.”

“It’s really far to your apartment from here.”

“I suppose.”

“I’ll drive you.”

And he says it with so much determination that Ted just gives up and nods lightly.

“Okay.”

* * *

It’s quiet as soon as they’re both in Bills car and Bill is in the process of carefully backing out of his parking lot.

Ted stares out of the window for the whole drive home and it feels nice, being in Bills car, being with Bill.

Ted notices Bill pull over in front of his apartment building and hesitantly turns to him now.

A part of his really wants to lean over and kiss Bill but he knows Bill doesn’t want that, so he’s not going to do it.

“Here we are”, Bill says.

“Yeah”, Ted mumbles.

“Do you need anything?”

“No.”

“You’ll be alright then?”

Ted shrugs.

“Need me to come inside with you?”, Bill keeps going.

Ted fights with himself for a moment, caught in between wanting to say yes and knowing it would be a mistake.

Ted would just do something irrational, like ask Bill to stay and hold him or something.

“Ted?”, Bill asks, when Ted doesn’t answer or react.

“Yes?”

“Yes? You want me to bring you inside?”

“No.. yes. No.”

Bill hesitates.

Then he pulls the handbrake and turns off the engine.

“Bill-“, Ted starts, but he already unfastened his seatbelt and got out of the car.

It’s quiet while Ted still sits there and Bill goes around the car to open the passenger’s door for him.

Ted slowly unfastens his seatbelt and gets out, not wanting to keep Bill waiting.

“I’m fine”, Ted half-heartedly tries to stop him, “You can go home.”

“No, I’ll walk you to your apartment.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

Ted smiles.

“Yeah, I absolutely will.”

Bill shakes his head but smiles.

Ted starts to make his way towards the building with Bill walking next to him. He pushes open the door for Bill to go inside first and he lets his hand bump into Bills as they walk up the stairs, just to see how he’ll react.

Unfortunately, Bill does not take his hand.

Ted unlocks the door to is apartment and pushes it open and there they are then.

“Do you want to come inside?”, Ted asks, after a few seconds of silence.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to meet for lunch tomorrow?”

“Are you sure?”

“If you promise to come sober.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Ted nods.

“Good, okay”, Bill says, “Because I feel like we should talk. About everything. We both still care and-“

He stops talking when Ted hugs him, then he relaxes and leans into it.

“Thank you”, Ted whispers.

“What for?”

“Not hating me?”

“I’d never do that.”

“I don’t know. It’s easier to hate me than not.”

“I love you, Ted.”

It’s quiet again while Ted tries his best not to cry.

“See you tomorrow?”, Bill asks.

Ted nods. “See you”, he says.

They pull apart and Ted steps inside.

Bill turns to leave, when Ted says: “Hey Bill?”

He turns back around. “Yes?”

“I love you.”

Bill smiles. “We’ll talk tomorrow”, he says.

Ted nods.

And then Bill leaves and after a while, Ted closes the door.


End file.
